Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star (2011) Reviews

• A movie with absolutely no life whatsoever

  keiichi732011-09-11

  How does a movie like Bucky Larson get made? Here is a movie that appeals to no audience I can think of, and yet it is playing on thousands of screens. The only logical explanation I can come to for this movie's existence is that Mr. Sandler has some very incriminating photos of someone at Columbia Pictures. Our title hero, Bucky (played by comedian Nick Swardson), is a dweeb. Not a funny one, or a likable one, but a pathetic dweeb who seems to live in his own world. Bucky hails from a small Midwest farm town, where he works as a bag boy at a grocery store, until he's fired about two minutes after the opening movie credits. He goes to a friend's house, where they decide to cheer him up by showing him a classic porno film starring a pair of legendary porn stars named Rosie Bush and Jim Spraysium. Seconds into watching the film, Bucky recognizes the stars as being his parents. Rather than be horrified, he is entranced by the idea that his parents were once in movies. It's at that moment he decides that it's his destiny to be a star as well, and decides to head to California and make it in "nude movies". Bucky arrives in Hollywood with big dreams, but seemingly little common sense, as when he auditions for a mac and cheese commercial, and immediately drops his pants and starts jerking off in front of the horrified director and casting crew. Fortunately, the director on the commercial shoot used to work in the porn business, and directs Bucky to someone who can help him. The first person Bucky meets is the porn star Dick Shadow (Stephen Dorff), who is currently the biggest thing in the movies (in more ways than one), and immediately shuns him. He's later introduced to Miles Deep (Don Johnson, looking particularly embarrassed here), a down on his luck porn director who is so desperate to make a movie, he's even willing to give Bucky a shot. The audition does not go well, as when Bucky drops his pants, his "manhood" is revealed to be literally microscopic. He also has a tendency to start screeching like a monkey whenever he sees a woman take her shirt off, and starts shooting off blasts of his "man juice" like a shotgun all over the room and ceiling. Let me stop this plot synopsis, and ask a simple question - Does this sound like a movie you would want to see? Does it even sound like a movie to begin with? I find myself returning to my original question, how does a movie like Bucky Larson get made? It holds absolutely no laughs, its lead character is an unlikable schmuck with an overbite and not a shred of knowledge of how to behave in social situations, and there's literally no plot to speak of. Just one situation after another for Bucky to humiliate himself. As the movie dragged on for nearly 100 interminable minutes, I came to realize that the entire screenplay revolves around three basic jokes. 1:) Bucky has buck teeth and talks funny. 2:) Bucky has a small dick. 3:) Bucky orgasms instantly every time he sees a woman take her shirt off. The movie repeats these same jokes many times, as if it thinks if it repeats them enough, it will wear down our defenses, and we'll eventually start laughing. Back to the plot - Bucky's disastrous audition winds up on the Internet, and becomes a sensation. This inspires Miles Deep to give the guy another chance, and come up with a new form of porn that is non-threatening to guys (because they know they're better than Bucky), and is reassuring to women, since they know they are sleeping with a better guy than Bucky. Somehow, this idea takes off, and Bucky becomes a major star in the porn industry. He even sweeps the porn film awards, which is hosted by Pauly Shore, who plays himself in a cameo. It also means that this is probably the worst movie Pauly Shore has ever appeared in. (And no, I'm not forgetting BioDome.) While all this is happening, Bucky also strikes up a relationship with a sweet young waitress named Kathy (Christina Ricci). Kathy seems like a bright young woman, and Ricci plays her with charm. So, why is she hanging around Bucky to begin with? Looking back over my review, I see that I have left very little out. This literally is all there is to the movie. There's no real conflict, other than a very halfhearted falling out between Bucky and Kathy that exists solely because the movie was nearly 90 minutes old, and nothing had really happened so far. This is nothing more than a story of an insufferable schmuck who goes to Hollywood, gets a job in porn, and falls in love with a nice girl. That's all. There's a hint of a subplot concerning the jealous porn star, Dick Shadow, trying to ruin Bucky's career. But this is so unmemorable, it could be cut from the film without anyone noticing. Why did it take three people to write a movie where virtually nothing happens? A movie that's quite clearly dead. Yes, Bucky Larson is a dead movie. It shows no signs of life or inspiration. It doesn't even have the decency to be a lively or memorable bad movie. It just sort of lies there, not doing anything, and then asks us to leave 100 minutes later. Those who know me know that I never wish ill will upon anyone, but I seriously think that a movie like this could end careers. I hope that doesn't happen. I'm sure Nick Swardson is a nice and funny guy in real life. I'm also sure he'll be apologizing for this one for a long time to come.

• How did this piece of mammoth excrement ever get made?

  stratusk12011-09-25

  See that $20 bill in your wallet? Wipe your ass with it instead of paying to see this movie. You will receive more amusement watching a feces-stained Jackson swirl around the bowl than watching this gross-out piece of water buffalo diarrhea. Not even an immature 13 year old will find this film amusing. It uses the same three jokes the entire movie: Bucky has buck teeth, he shoots semen at the mere sight of a naked girl, and he has a tiny penis covered with a bush of hair. Boom, that's it. That's the movie. Game over man, game over. If I could give this film zero stars, I would. Not even Stephen Dorff can save this penguin excrement.

• This should have NEVER been born.

  twilliams762012-01-19

  There is very little to say about Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star other than "I hated it ... I hated ALL of it!" The film is not funny and it is repellent. I cannot criticize it for being about porn because Boogie Nights was exclusively about the world of porn and I think it was one of the BEST film of the 1990's. Boogie Nights treated its characters as flawed human beings searching for acceptance and a feeling of belonging -- Bucky Larson's characters are all supposed to be laughed at and there are just too many times throughout the movie which had me wanting to rush to the bathroom to vomit as 89% of the film is stomach-churning. This should pretty-much END the career of anybody involved and I am actually surprised that Adam Sandler's name is attached as both a writer and a producer of this trash (Sandler also gave us Jack and Jill and Just Go With It this year -- the latter film is only saved b/c of the over-the-top performance of the unlikely physical comedienne Nicole Kidman -- so I question whether or not his days are numbered?). An unfunny-to-me Nick Swardson (Just Go With It, 30 Minutes or Less, Blades of Glory) -- who's career is mostly stand-up comedy -- stars as the grotesquely buck-toothed Bucky Larson (who must've been born with buck-teeth?) who believes he is destined for a glorious career in porn after discovering his parents were au natural (meaning: unshaven, un-waxed, un-spray-tanned, un-fit etc) porn stars of the 1970's. Bucky leaves behind an insulting-to-mid-westerners existence in Iowa (only found in the movies -- he didn't attend high school because his town didn't have one ... whatever), the RIDICULOUSLY-accented Bucky (that is NOT an Iowa accent ... but let's throw-out another stupid laugh at the expense of the heartland) heads to LA where his dreams can come true. Bucky luckily meets a nice, big-hearted waitress (Christina Ricci - Sleepy Hollow, Penelope, Monster ... and after this is it any wonder she seeked out employment on television as Pan-Am is Oscar-caliber compared to this!) at a random diner who befriends him, finds him a place to live (with crazy-jerk roommate Kevin Nealon - "SNL", "Weeds", Just Go With It) and sets him in the right direction of finding work. Don Johnson (Tin Cup, Machete ... who's short-lived career rebirth must be over) is porn director Miles Deep who sees something "special" in Bucky and decides to exploit the freak (it's explained in the film ... but I don't recommend watching this to figure out the "freak-tag" that has NOTHING to do with his teeth!) and Stephen Dorff (who's stellar "comeback" with the excellent film Somewhere must have been a fluke!!) plays a jealous porn-star rival. As vulgar and repulsive as this film is, there is surprisingly little flesh on display. It would be difficult to pick-out the worst part of this film as that would pretty-much be the whole thing. Just as impossible would be finding "the best" part. This film isn't bad because it is offensive -- we've had Bridesmaids and two Hangover films -- it is just terrible bad. What works with those 3 films is that they are "equal-opportunity offenders" ... this one -- NOT so much. It is rank and rancid and beyond mere words for criticism. I NEVER want to see something like this again.

• One of the worst comedies ever released!!!

  ManBehindTheMask632012-01-18

  I like Nick Swardson. His show "Pretend time" on Comedy Central is hilarious and he's usually good in supporting roles ("Grandma's boy" & "Just go with it"). But wow, did this movie suck. "Bucky Larson" is flat. The jokes aren't funny and the acting for the most part is uninspired. Don Johnson was the highlight of the film and Christina Ricci did what she could but there are no redeeming qualities in this film. I went in with low expectations because of the bad reviews and word of mouth, and yet I was still disappointed. This film deserves to be in the bottom 250 on IMDb. With the talent that was involved in the project and the premise of a porn comedy, "Bucky Larson" should have been funny. But instead I found myself wishing it was never made. I feel sorry for the chumps who paid $10 to see this garbage in theaters.

• Watching this movie literally made my jaw drop to the floor....

  TheLittleSongbird2011-09-16

  ...And not in a good way! I love movies, regardless of its age or genre. I love comedies and admire those with inspiration. When I saw Bucky Larson: Born to be a Star out of curiosity- though I did have reservations about seeing it starting with the trailer and Adam Sandler co-penning the script- online, I found next to nothing to love or admire about it. The film looks cheap for starters, more in the slapdash editing and cinematography and dull lighting than the scenery. The soundtrack didn't have anything I'd deem memorable. Then there is the direction. Bucky Larson: Born to be a Star has some of the worst direction I have seen in a movie in quite a while, as all the basic tools of direction like camera placement and continuity Brady seems to be ignoring here. Story-wise this just didn't engage. Some might say it is a predictable movie, in many ways yes it is. A movie that is predictable isn't bad as such, but for me it is when the film in question is not at all inspiring and just doesn't have any point to it. That for me is the case with Bucky Larson: Born to be a Star. Even worse is the writing, which is horrendous. It is not funny at all, just dumb, puerile and irritating, with no heart whatsoever. When it comes to the pace, the film has no life to it, because the dialogue and jokes are so bad(seriously the penis that was so small you could use a straw for a condom idea was incredibly stupid) and no effort is made in regards to the characters, who are little more than stiff caricatures at best. The acting is really poor, Nicky Swardson is just annoying and abrasive while Christina Ricci who I like actually is cute but bland. In fact only Don Johnson actually tries to do anything fresh with his character. As for comic timing, in regard to this film, why bother really, most of it is basically saying a line and standing around aimlessly waiting for someone to say their bit. Overall, irritating, woefully directed and pointless. Of a very hit-and-miss year so far, I think I now have my new contender for the worst of the bunch. 0/10 Bethany Cox