Chupacabra vs. the Alamo (2013) Reviews

• Here Comes The Chupacabra Tale, Hoppin' Down The SyFy Trail

  Calaboss2013-03-24

  Those of us that know the SyFy channel movie formula could all see this little treat coming down the road. It has all the elements of traditional SyFy movies; 2nd/3rd rate CGI and actors, thoroughly unappealing characters, inane dialog, and perhaps, a has-been actor thrown in for nostalgia. And, of course, the title. At this point, I'm convinced that they just brain-storm the most ridiculous movie titles they can think of and make a movie around that title. Chupacabra vs. the Alamo is certainly a winner in that regard. The story is silly, naturally, but I thought the CGI was pretty good, in SyFy movie terms. Erik Estrada is the curiosity doing the "has-been" duty here, and he's seen better days. The former CHiPs star is in his mid 60's now, and has packed on some tonnage, but he gives this nonsense his best shot and plays his part with gusto. All these movies are made for fun, of course, in the best "wink, wink, nudge, nudge" tradition. Everybody is in on the joke here, except for a few viewers who actually take these things seriously. It's not giving anything away to say the characters fight the mythical beasts at the Alamo. Guess who wins. About average for a SyFy movie. If you watch it, you'll get exactly what you would expect from the title.

• Hugely entertaining kitschfest

  Woodyanders2013-07-11

  San Antonio, Texas. Bodies of various drug cartel members are turning up mangled and drained of blood. Tough DEA agent Carlos Seguin (a solid and engaging performance by Erik Estrada) discovers that the grisly murders are being committed by a pack of chupacabras, which are lethal predatory creatures of local legend. Director Terry Ingram, working from a blithely absurd script by Terry Sullivan, relates the enjoyably inane story at a snappy pace, treats the gloriously ludicrous premise with gut-busting seriousness, and delivers oodles of graphic gore (throats are torn out, stomachs are ripped open, and one poor guy even has his penis bitten off!). The hilariously hokey CGI monsters -- they look like giant mutant emaciated Chihuahuas! -- and the uproariously unconvincing scenes of an aged Estrada "riding" a motorcycle that were done with obvious green screen work add immensely to this film's considerable campy charm. The sincere acting by the game cast helps a whole lot: Julia Benson as Carlos' feisty new partner Tracy Taylor, Jorge Vargas as Carlos' wayward estranged son Tommy, Vanesa Tomasino as the eager Agent Dani, Nicole Munoz as Carlos' rebellious teenage daughter Sienna, Chad Krowchuk as goofy tour guide Crockett, and Brent McLaren as rowdy gang banger Loco. Anthony C. Metchie's sharp cinematography boasts some atmospheric lighting and several gnarly chupacabra POV shots. Stu Goldberg's thrilling twangy'n'tuneful hits the stirring spot. A deliciously cheesy hoot.

• Better Than What Usually Turns Up on SyFy Saturday Nights

  Michael_Elliott2013-03-25

  Chupacabra vs. the Alamo (2013) ** 1/2 (out of 4) Gory fun from SyFy has a cop (Erik Estrada) trying to deal with the two-year anniversary of his wife's death while at the same time having troubles with his teenage daughter. To make matters worse a gang of chupacabras are eating up the locals and the cop must gather up a group of gangsters (led by his own son) to try and take on the creatures at the site mentioned in the title. CHUPACABRA VS. THE ALAMO is a pretty silly movie but I'm sure that's what most people expect when they tune into SyFy on Saturday nights. I must admit that this film really kept me entertained throughout most of the running time, although there are certainly some flaws remaining. One big flaw is the constant melodrama dealing with the father's relationship with his children. The widowed father and troubled kids is a cliché taking over these SyFy movies and it really needs to stop as it takes away from what people are turning into see. The CGI monsters here aren't nearly as bad as we've come to expect from the station but there's still no question that they're far from being scary. The actual look of the monsters are pretty good and thankfully they didn't turn them into Godzilla sized creatures, which is what usually happens. Another plus is that if you're looking for gore then you're going to find a lot of it here. There's all sorts of guts and blood flowing throughout and this includes some TV-pushing stuff including one poor guy who decides to go pee at the wrong time. Estrada is the former star thrown into the spotlight this time out. I actually thought he was quite fun here and of course we get some nods to his CHIPS role including him riding a motorcycle throughout the picture. I also enjoyed both Nicole Munoz and Julia Benson in their supporting roles. CHUPACABRA VS. THE ALAMO isn't meant to be taken serious and thankfully the filmmakers didn't take it too serious. The film is light entertainment that's going to appeal to fans of "B" movies and those who like gore.

• Fun but flawed Sci-Fi Channel creature feature

  kannibalcorpsegrinder2013-03-25

  When a series of savage deaths strike their small town, a Texas sheriff finds the vicious chupacabra is responsible for the attacks and tries to get everyone to safety, eventually leading them to the Alamo as a last-ditch effort to stop the rabid creatures. This here turned out to be quite an enjoyable if slightly flawed Sci-Fi Channel creature feature, as there's some good stuff to be had here. The film's decision to keep the creatures a constant threat means there's a big action scene continually on the way, and this one doesn't disappoint with big scenes as the attack at the high school party, the house sequence or the ambush in the abandoned refinery, which is quite impressive itself and has a lot of good stuff about it with their coordinated attacks, gunfire blazing and overwhelming numbers making for a fun scene. That all leads to the finale in the titular building, which is a little short on time but still incredibly enjoyable with a lot of big action, some nice surprises and a few admittedly clever tactics of dealing with the creatures to offer itself as some full-scale fun. There's still some flaws here, besides the atrocious CGI but also the fact that this calls them chupacabras when it's just the same as a rabid dog, and in fact a pack of rabid dogs wouldn't have changed the film at all which makes the creature's designation all the stranger. As well, there's some questionable motives from all involved as to what's going on from scene-to-scene, but overall this one was a lot of fun. Rated R: Graphic Violence and Language.

• Chupacabra vs the Low Budget

  joemc-52013-03-24

  I wanted to enjoy this movie as a piece of Syfy camp. But it was just too poorly written to work even on that level. Really Hollywood, if you're going to place a story in a certain part of the U.S. at least look at googlemaps first. The first scene has a text graphic stating (U.S./Mexican border, southeast of San Antonio). A quick look at a map and you would see that the Gulf of Mexico is southeast of the city. The film just goes downhill from there. Way too many green screen shots of Erik on a motorcycle. Come on guys! Take 1/2 a day and shoot it for real! The dude knows how to ride one. They could have done so much tying in the characters relation to Juan Seguin, a hero of the Texas revolution. Instead, he is mentioned once at the beginning and you see a photo of him in the Alamo. The rest of the Texas/Mexican heritage is wasted on making all the young people act like they are from East L.A. The skinny malnourished cgi dogs somehow manage to kill everyone in the San Antonio police department except the lead and his partner. Along with some East L.A. gang bangers they make their stand in the Alamo. Evidently, the chupradogs have been able to kill everyone else in a city of 1.3 million as they are the only people (except for a tour group that gets eaten in 30 seconds)left in downtown San Antonio. I give up on Syfy now. Just do your wrestling, poor reality shows and leave movies to people that might at least care. That's what got me the most about this movie. It was so sloppy you could tell no one working on it (writing, directing, and special effects) cared at all. Just put something on the screen.