Die Abenteuer von Pico und Columbus (1992) Reviews

• Delightfully Disgraceful

  billgh42008-05-18

  I have given this film five stars because it is worthy of both a one and a ten. It deserves one star because it is one of the lowest, most ill-conceived, pathetic films I have ever seen. But it deserves ten stars as well. Because in being one of the sloppiest and most absurd films ever made, it is certainly one of the most comical. I had remembered this film from my childhood, but after viewing it at the age of seventeen, I gained an entirely new perspective of this film. I purchased it with the interest that it might bring back memories. But it is now a gem in my collection, one of the most entertaining motion pictures I have ever witnessed or ever will witness. It would be a misconception to clump this film with other films labeled 'so-bad-it's-good.' Rather, what makes this film enjoyable is its utter preposterousness; it crosses the boundaries of a typical children's film into the bizarre and surreal. One user hit the nail on the head when commenting on this film, saying that the viewer is led to ask the question: 'Why?' The dialogue is clumsily splattered all over the place. Every other line is something that could easily be thrown out, some of which touch into some realm of absurdity never to be revisited throughout the film. At other times, entire segments of dialogue seem completely unnecessary. It seems as if the voice actors were not only poorly improvising the script, but were also clueless as to what the story involved. The characters are completely senseless. Columbus, in particular, is hardly a character at all. Though they initially portray him as an ambitious explorer, the character gradually goes downhill as the film progresses, until the end of the film, at which point he has transformed into a raving madman running around in his underwear. 'Gold! Gold!!' he shouts gluttonously, his eyeballs shifting into all sorts of phantasmagorical shapes. One moment, he is clambering through the forest in search of gold, and the next moment he is paralyzed with fear, offering the other characters meaningless quips and puns. Meanwhile, he scrambles through the forest screeching maniacally, adding nothing to the plot save for absolute chaos. Generally, the film seems to dismantle as it goes on. The events within the plot grow more useless with every scene. By the fiery climax of the movie, it has all been reduced to pitiful bedlam. All that can be heard are the angry bellows from the evil 'Swarm Lord,' and the incessant wailing of Columbus. While the film seems to draw toward the dramatic demise of the evil 'Swarm Lord,' it is all ended when Columbus plummets down and inadvertently squashes the great swarm of bugs with his 'gold.' A squishing noise is heard; 'Hey! You squished the Swarm Lord!' says 'Bob the Beaver' in his Eeyore-like voice, since this abrupt turn of events would be completely undecipherable without such an explanation. The conflict has ended suddenly and unexpectedly. Without a doubt, it is a ridiculously poorly-made film, but those who are fond of absurdity are sure to love it. Moments of senselessness amount to great moments of comedy. Therefore, I recommend this film to anyone who is not a small child, and who feels ready for some laughs. If you begin to watch this film, and it does not seem promising at first, all you have to do is wait; watch as a seemingly innocent children's movie turns into a boiling pot of mayhem.

• The stupidest, most pointless and awful cartoon ever made.

  TOMNEL2008-06-20

  Remember Christopher Columbus's voyage and how he found America? Do you remember Christopher's traveling companion Pico the wood worm? I don't either. Do you remember how Columbus's worst enemy was a swarm of evil bees who held some sort of bug princess captive? Neither do I. In fact, you can't even say this movie has any fact to it. True there was a man named Christopher Columbus, but that's all they got right (and the names of the ships), everything else just makes no sense. Whoever animated this must've been high, and whoever wrote it must've been mentally retarded. Pico the woodworm (voiced by Corey Feldman) somehow becomes best friends with Christopher Columbus (voiced by Dom Deluise) and they travel off to prove the world isn't flat. Pico meets Marylin the fairy princess of the moon sprite (Whatever the heck that is), and keeps fantasizing about her. Columbus and his crew of 3 or 4 men, 3 rats and 1 woodworm set out and find America in about 2 days time, just like it happened in real life. The climax involves Columbus fighting a swarm of bees and trying to take gold from what looks like an Aztec or Mayan temple. This movie should have never been made! What was the point of it? It makes no sense whatsoever. Columbus and a woodworm travel to America, okay, I buy that. They try to tell the tale, but also add an animated comic relief for the kiddies, but Pico isn't even a comic relief, he's the main character. Columbus is more like the comic relief and I've seen shots to the head that are funnier than Columbus's non stop ranting. The animation is freaking horrible! Half the time when a character talks their mouth isn't even moving. The swarm of bees that shouldn't have even been in the movie to begin with looked like a big swarm of feces, which is how I can also sum up the film...it's nothing but a big pile of feces. The character designs are also awful, with everyone having a big nose, including Pico who's nose looks like one of those Bugle potato chips. The dialogue seems ad libbed, as does the entire script. I know this movie was originally made in German, but seriously, couldn't they at least try to match the mouths instead of ad libbing bad dialogue the entire movie. Unfortunately, this is also a musical, with some really awful songs and even worse singing. The climax is anti-climactic and only lasts for about 2 minutes, never putting the characters in harms way, though it would've been much more enjoyable to see the whole lot of them killed. If you couldn't figure it out, I hate this movie. It's the most awful animated film I've ever seen, and I've seen some real stinkers. This might be one of the worst movies ever made. It has no real plot and the animation is horrid. Avoid it at all costs! My rating: BOMB/****. 80 mins. Rated G.

• The world may be round but this picture is flat.

  VideoPokerAddict2004-09-14

  This is one of those films where you just don't have any idea why it was even made. Why in the world would Germans feel drawn to a story featuring Christopher Columbus, a wood worm, a firefly princess and some sort of horribly, horribly animated swarm something-or-other? I just keep asking myself over and over again, "Why?" The overall animation doesn't even come close to looking like anything out of the 1990's. It is very simplistic, drab and amateur-looking. Supposedly stationary objects jiggle back and forth and the mouths of characters don't match the words being spoken way too many times. Forget about all of the important ingredients necessary to make a decent animated film. Dom DeLuise and Corey Feldman as your main voice talent? Ugh. Sheesh...and the songs in the film! You will thank me for the following advice: Do not keep any sharp objects lying around while watching this film! If you happen to find a pencil before you find the "Mute" button on the remote, well, you will probably be tempted to use it to puncture your eardrums. The sole good song is the one by Al Jarreau over the closing credits. I don't even know where to begin as far as the story goes. Something about a wood worm who walks and talks and wears clothes. He has a carrot for a nose and tells Christopher Columbus that the world is actually round and not flat or square. The wood worm, named Pico, snags a girlfriend but she is later kidnapped by a swarm creature. Columbus convinces the Queen to give him three ships so he can sail to Asia and Pico tags along to try and find his girlfriend. They end up landing on a tropical island and find a fortune in gold. Is any of this sounding interesting to you? This is one of those many films where you just know that the story behind the development of it is infinitely more interesting than the film itself. I don't know why the Germans didn't make something that they could relate to better. They tried to emulate an American animated film but completely and utterly failed. Even early episodes of "The Smurfs" are filled with more complex storytelling and cutting edge animation than this disaster. Bon Voyage! 1/10

• My words to all of you Germans: BEGONE!

  gavin-thelordofthefu-48-4602972011-10-13

  Do you remember A Troll in Central Park? You know, the film that had very annoying characters, terrible songs, a pathetic plot, and horrible writing? Yeah, but at least it had beautiful animation, solid character designs, cool looking visuals, and even the voice acting was even entertaining. This........ Oh, boy. Where do I even begin? It revolves around Christopher Columbus who wants to journey to prove that the world is round all because of a woodworm named Pico, who meets a fairy princess of the moon sprites, but is later captured by the evil swarm lord who wants to use the princess to find the sacred light in the Aztec temple. So, they team up with other animals like three rats and a beaver with an Eeyore-like voice to save the princess and battle against the swarm lord. You think that the Germans of this horrid film tried to make a story about the Spanish explorer (in this movie he's Italian) traveling around the world, but you're wrong. There were so many things that were totally wrong with this movie. The animation was awful. It had lazy character designs and inconsistent backgrounds. It kind of looks like Disney, but at most times, it looks like a Saturday morning cartoon. The voice acting? Ugh! Don't even get me started on the voice acting. I mean, I love Dom Deluise, but he's just wasn't meant to be in this film. They've done a horrible job with their voice performances. The songs? Oh, god. They were so annoying it makes me want to press the mute button. The only good song is the one by Al Jarreau in the ending credits. The story was ridiculous. I mean, an evil swarm lord? Princess of the moon sprites? Sacred light? Is it me or did the Germans drank too many beers when they came up with this kind of crap. Well, at least it had done what it set out to do, but that's not worth sitting through this god awful torture. The Magic Voyage is an awful film. It's horribly animated, poorly acted, and of course, the story is completely ridiculous. If there was some way to get to the Germans, I would say: BEGONE ALL OF THY!

• A truly terrible movie, but at least it succeeds in what it set out to do

  TheLittleSongbird2011-06-29

  I saw The Magic Voyage as a big stickler for animation. The Magic Voyage is a terrible movie and somewhat pointless as well. On the other hand to its credit, it does succeed in what it set out to do, to inform and entertain the young audience, so I can't entirely hate on it. Although I realise the movie is really poor after many years of not seeing it, I loved it as a kid, hence what I said about what the film tried to accomplish. The animation is really quite bad. The colours are okay-ish, but the background art is lifeless and the character designs especially the noses are odd. I liked the songs as a kid, I was shocked at how forgettable the melodies were and how inane the lyrics were as a young adult(19) though, and how little they do in telling the story or moving it forward. The story is unfocused and made up of overlong and disconnected scenes, while the writing is both laughable and bizarre. The characters are also unmemorable and unengaging. The title character sometimes doesn't even feel like a title character, while Pico is very annoying. I do like the voice cast as in actors in general, but I just found them really bland here, yes even Dom DeLuise. So all in all, terrible but because of what it aimed to do I can't be too overly hard on it. 1/10 Bethany Cox