The Bog Creatures (2003) Reviews

• Reminds you of a high-school video project

  jstoddard972003-03-15

  Well, to spoil it all for you... the only nudity is in the first 15 seconds or so. And you see exactly what the bog "creatures" look like about 5 minutes later. There was no suspense, and I think it would be way out of line to call this a "horror" flick. Some good points... the acting was decent, and some parts were quite humorous. My favorite part was the ending... Get through all of it, and you'll know what I mean. Bottom line? Not completely terrible, but not really too watchable, either. 5/10 from me...

• Oddly enjoyable [minor spoilers]

  mswells2004-11-14

  It starts off looking like its going to be incredibly bad, with maybe a dozen poorly dressed 'viking berserkers' (One of whom is clearly wearing blue jeans) attack a castle filled with topless women. But then we get to the modern day, searching for and things get marginally better. An archaeologist who has been laughed out of academia and his genius teenage sister have assembled a group of 5 grad students to go excavate a bog looking for proof of his theory about an ancient berserker cult. It hangs together better than one might expect. The actors are terrible, and sometimes the dialogue gets into the wooden side of things, but then it goes and gets all logical. The students are written as both intelligent AND naive... And the kinda unhealthy relationship between the professor and his sister is both disturbing AND a plot element, oddly. Weirdly, science is treated with respect by the script. In short, its really not half bad. Its low budget, with all that implies, but I've seen much much worse.

• A pretty good rental

  billybrown412003-03-20

  We rented this one because we pretty much knew it would suck and we figured either way, it would be fun. Anyway, last night, I finally got around to watching it and I was kind of surprised that it turned out to be somewhat watchable. The plot (what little there is) concerns a group of misfit teens being "selected" to go out and dig for junk where a bunch of "bog people" once lived. Once some corpses uhm, I mean artifacts are discovered, weird stuff starts to happen. That's it. Since we learn jack-all about the characters, you will not care about one single person here. There is no gore whatsoever and the creature (zombie) effects are pretty damn cheesy. Did you ever watch that show that used to play on Nickelodeon called "Are You Afraid Of The Dark"? Well, if you can remember back that far to what those effects looked like with all the fake fog and whatnot, then you can get a pretty good idea of what I'm talking about. It's on the same level. Now, I just watched this last night and the only character that I even came close to liking was the guy who swallowed a pair of panties (!). I do remember a couple of cute girls running around (Don't get excited. There's no real nudity to speak of) and there was this guy who looked like he was trying to be a body double for Tommy Lee. His faux tough-guy persona was fun times. There was also this guy with a weird accent that showed up close to the beginning then just disappeared. That's too bad. He was funny. All in all, it's a pretty decent effort that makes good use of its low-budget (although, not nearly as well as "In The Woods"). I think the coolest part of the Dvd was the "making of" that was tacked on. Here, we get to go behind the scenes and meet the director. He's a pretty likeable guy with some interesting things to say. He gives us his definition of "guerilla film-making" and we learn about how the idea for the story was conceived. If you're into b-horror, you may want to give this one a look. It's (if nothing else) worth a rental and the premise of a Viking/horror movie is actually kind of original in this day and age.

• As Bad as it Looks

  Nick_Dets2005-08-31

  Fans of generic fun will have a fun time with "The Bog Creatures" and self-righteous "film connoisseurs" will be offended. I'm a little of both, so I just may be a good source... It starts out with a hopelessly low-budget medieval battle (My dear friend/generic film buff, who rented this one, noticed a "knight" wearing a striped T-shirt!). The lazy filmmakers pay no attention to detail and don't even attempt authenticity. The low-grade DV cinematography doesn't help, either. Fortunately, the movie slips into some campy fun as the real story starts. Five bright and good-natured college flunkies (??) assist an ex-college flunkie in doing some excavation work in a Scottish bog (although it looks more like American woodlands). Nearby is an ancient castle in which mysterious events are tied to. The "ancient" castle has wooden walls, wooden-hinge doors and a brand spanking new paint job, but oh-well what can you do with lazy filmmakers. Suddenly, shamefully under-costumed bog creatures (wearing untainted shirts and khaki pants) turn the bog into their happy hunting ground. The typically formulaic story is surprisingly grounded, and never descends to an unwatchable bomb level. Director J. Christian Ingvordsen seems to know what goes into a pleasant, crowd pleasing horror flick, but he doesn't seem to have the means to achieve his goal. The screenplay, written by Matthew M. Howe is plain and simple rubbish, but it could have been cool rubbish had there been directed with a bigger budget. There are fine women to be found, and not much of anything else. This is a pretty bad one, but I guess it could have been a lot worse. If your looking for a decisive recommendation or the opposite, I'd advise passing this one for sure (unless you are interested in seeing a man devour a woman's panties whole in one of the most absurd, if highly memorable, scenes).

• They DO still make "B" horror flicks!

  mlevans2003-06-01

  They don't make them like THIS anymore! No, wait! This is a 2003 film, not one from 1953! Well, maybe they DO still make ‘em like this! I was looking for a horror movie that wouldn't tax my brain too badly on a Saturday night and therefore wasn't particularly disappointed with Bog Creatures. The setting is semi-eerie and the acting is okay. Basically, this wasn't a bad horror flick; it just isn't anything that hasn't been seen before. In fact, it really hearkens back to the horror films of the 1950s which we laugh at today. The only differences are slightly better costumes/effects, more foul language, etc. SPOILERS AHEAD This may actually become a campy movie at some point. The most bizarre scene is the doofy guy sneaking into one of the girl's tents and sniffing her panties. She returns and catches him, but is standing behind him and can't see what he's doing. So, like any normal rational guy, he SWALLOWS the panties, trying to act nonchalant. We have a rather bizarre scenario in itself, with specially-recruited `troubled' drop-out archaeology students being brought together. Somehow the tough guy with the tattoo just doesn't strike me as a college archaeology student-having known a number of them. It also seems strange that this U.K. professor has to find his `special' archaeology kids in America. At least the troweling scene where the first Viking berserker is unearthed--first the helmet then the realization that there is a body IN the helmet--is good. This gives a brief feeling of reality or at least texture to the film. So does the autopsy scene. Other than that, though, it's basically a bunch of typical college losers in the woods, being semi-stalked by somewhat non-aggressive mummified corpses. (If you want to see this basic plot in a well-animated, more lively manner, watch Scooby Doo On Zombie Island!) To put it another way, it's about as scary as Ghost Breakers (with Bob Hope), but much less funny. The cast is fairly solid, although after just one viewing (all I desire!), I'm not able to keep the five students straight. There are two decent-looking girls we barely get to know, plus a tough guy, a nerd and a weird intellectual who doesn't seem to give a rip. Lara Theodos is certainly hot as Dr. Feneman's brilliant kid sister. The ending, by the way, is interesting-and certainly in keeping with the campy 1950s feel of the movie. Overall, the movie is like the Bog Creatures themselves: kind of creepy, but not much bite.