The Convent (2000) Reviews

• Bloody Good Fun

  bnl7712004-03-04

  With the lack of quality horror films becoming more and more apparent, fans of the genre (and those looking to get into it) are left with nothing to lose by checking out the obscure titles found on the shelves of the non-chain video stores. Every once in a while, there is a surprise contained within. Such a surprise is the 2000 movie `The Convent'. Directed by Mike Mendez (whose previous effort, `Killers', is very hard to find), `The Convent' is an exercise in excess and situational comedy. Far too often horror movies enter the realm of comedy unintentionally. As a small film, with a pea-sized budget, `The Convent' wraps itself, and enjoys, a cloak of playfulness. The movie opens in the 1950's as a young woman decides to set nuns and priests aflame. just before laying a shotgun through them. It's an intro that needs to be seen to be believed. Unfortunately, as far as visual flare is concerned, this scene is never topped. We fast-forward to the present and meet a group of college kids heading to the long abandoned convent to spray paint fraternity letters. The mix of characters is so over the top you can't help but love them. Not a single role is taken 100% seriously and it's obvious that this movie is going to be fun. Our college friends make it to the convent. Unfortunately, they are busted by two dope-smoking cops. I want nothing more than to go into detail about this scene, but it would ruin a surprise cameo that is beyond hilarious. As the group's bad luck continues, they realize they have left their entire bag of weed at the convent and must return. From here, gore galore and hilarity ensues. The plot is simple enough and the movie is very funny (not to mention gory as all get out). We get a simply wonderful cameo from Adrienne Barbeau (whose performance in John Carpenter's `The Fog' is treasured by countless horror fans) and, generally, decent production values given the budget. My only complaint is that the movie is too short.

• Goddamn Demons, Always Something With The Virgins!

  CMRKeyboadist2006-01-25

  I just saw this film for the first time and I must admit it was rather enjoyable. This movie obviously gives tribute to many films such as "Demons", "Night of the Demons", "Evil Dead", etc. The movie is very fast paced, filled with random gore scenes and a few familiar faces for those of you who know your horror movies. The movie starts off with a young woman walking into a church/convent and slaughtering all the nuns that she sees. 40 years later, a group of what would appear to be stereotypical dumb college frat kids who are out one night looking for a good time. Of course they go to the old convent where the massacre took place 40 years in the past. After most of them are chased away by the police (Coolio and Bill Mossely) the one that stayed behind is sacrificed by a bunch of loser wanna be goth kids. This is where the movie finally picks up as the rest of it is a blood bath mixed with humor and gore. I must say the beginning of the movie was really bad with the stereotypical college kids but if you can hold out for about 15 minutes it really is all worth the while. Now, the version of the movie I just got claims to be the full uncut version which would make sense because most of the reviews I have read say they wish the movie was more gory. This movie was plenty gory, at least enough to keep my slaughter appetite in check. Also look for Adrienne Barbou kicking serious butt in the last 15 minutes of the movie. 7/10 stars

• A fun throwback

  rutt13-12001-12-15

  Ahhh, this movie is in every way completely ridiculuous. The Actors seemed to have a good time, and so did I. It's very reminiscent of the better low-budget 80's stuff, with cheesy acting, cheesy dialog, and cheesy humor. But I love that kind of stuff. And clocking in at about 1 hour and 12 mins., it's very fast-paced. I noticed that the male characters were incredibly stupid, while most of the females were pretty smart. I thought this was hilarious and made the film kind of a parody of the aforementioned 80's flicks. If you like stuff like "Night of the Demons" or maybe "Return of the Living Dead," "The Convent" is in the same spirit. You get to see lots of goofy stuff, but the monsters are pretty cool, and sort of serious, and it's got a pretty good bloodflow. And Adrienne Barbeau is a blast as the vet demon killer. My only complaint is that the ending seems a bit rushed, and poorly edited. But Mr. Mendez is one to watch.

• Hilarious!!!

  gluba20002005-01-13

  Me, my sister, and our aunt rented this and 3 other movies...I wanted a horror movie and my aunt wanted something that was current (because she's seen probably all of the 70's horror flicks) so we rented The Convent. I had a feeling that it'd be cheap and crappy and I was right. The whole movie had us laughing so hard! I don't remember the last time I laughed that hard and for that long! Also, I noticed two references to other horrors movies in there--Halloween, when the nun walks up to the little girl in the graveyard she has on the Michael Myers mask. And when the nun walks up to the girl in the desk in that flashback scene she spews green stuff on her (The Exorcist.) This movie will have you in tears laughing! (Well it did for at least me, my sister, and my aunt!) I also think it was the director's intention to make it campy fun I dunno if he intended it to be an actual horror film. Or maybe he did and knew that it'd turn out to be a crappy D horror flick so he went crazy with the budget and script! I found this extremely entertaining and gave it a 7!

• If you get it, you'll love it!

  yrhma312002-11-30

  Oh come on! What do you expect? It's a trashy horror/comedy starring Adrienne Barbeau. And it's a REALLY FUNNY one at that. If you were expecting anything more...well I just can't understand how you could. It is what it is---and it's FABULOUS!