The Red House (2014) Reviews

• Pile of junk!

  davannacarter2014-08-04

  This is SyFy channel quality. It's true that SyFy has made worse but still this is something SyFy would air on their channel. This movie has a plot any horror fan has seen plenty of times before: a person gets an old house. Said person invites decides to spend a weekend there with a group of her clueless friends. People start disappearing one by one. And yes, this particular movie features deranged rednecks. Can someone PM an answer to this question: do horror filmmakers get fined if they make a horror movie set in a rural area that doesn't feature deranged rednecks? It seems like the vast majority of rural horror features deranged rednecks. Sometimes they're deformed. Sometimes not. Sometimes they're Christian. Sometimes not. But they are always weirdos who seem to have little respect for human life. Another problem: the movie features 4 hot chicks and one dude as the protagonist. Why isn't there any real nudity? We see a brief glimpse of boobs (less than 10 seconds) and a real good shot of the one dude's butt. But the other chicks don't get naked. What's the point of having 4 hot chicks in your movie (with plenty of chances to show them naked) but there's no worthwhile nudity to speak of? Stupid. Plus, the dialogue left a lot to be desired. Even worse is the acting, which is everything between crap to mediocre. Another thing, the movie has many clichés: victim will knock the killer out but not make sure he's dead; character disappears and another character will wonder where she went to then another character will say, "She's probably off shopping or something. You know how she is"; victim will be running from her attackers only to find the body of one of her dead friends; characters wanting to split up saying, "I think we should take our chances and try to make a run for it" while the other character says, "No, I think we should stay here and wait for help"; no working cell phones; newspaper clippings to tell the back story; etc. Moving on: the suspense is lacking. The stuff leading up to the kills didn't feature truly suspenseful music; a tense atmosphere; a sense of danger; engaging camera work; scenes dripping with suspense; or anything that would set a really dramatic mood. The lack of suspense is worsened by the lame kills. Most of the kills take place off screen where fake blood splashes on walls and drips down from the victims' bodies onto the floor. I don't need graphic violence in my horror. But a movie like this that lacks suspense at least needs to show some good kills. All in all, this is SyFy channel quality. Granted, it's not ridiculously dumb like their other movies (I'm looking at you, Swamp Sharks). But it's still a dumb horror movie rehashing tired clichés. Take away the brief shot of the woman's boobs and the shot of the dude's butt and this movie is all set for an Saturday or Sunday afternoon slot of SyFy.

• Beautiful people ... in peril

  kosmasp2014-09-09

  A new concept ... this isn't. But you don't always need a new approach to things, if the delivered product is rock solid. That cannot be said for this, even if there is a neat touch on the whole "aura" and the feeling of that said aura (or not). You might not find that many beautiful girls being friends with each other outside of movies, but if you start complaining about that, you might as well stop watching altogether. There are few nice twists, though not too many. And even though the main characters are very much alive (at the beginning at least, you'll have to watch through to see, if they all make it to the end or not), they do act as if they were brain-dead. Still there is some fun to be had and I have seen worse horror movies. So while this isn't completely bad, it won't be the best movie you've seen either. Lower expectations and maybe you'll enjoy it

• ANOTHER CABIN IN THE WOODS SLASHER

  nogodnomasters2018-10-30

  The opening of the film shows us the birth certificate of Joshua King b. 4/24/1955 in Copperhead County. The parents are from Wichita, Kansas. The mother has a maiden name of Olszewski, the same real name as two of the actors in this film. Coincidence? I think not! The seal on the certificate is South Australia with the county being located in California. At the age of 20, Joshua rapes a girl (1975 by my math), but we later discovered he wasn't trialed but committed in 1980. Fuzzy math. The raped girl has a child, but dies at child birth. After the credits... Shelby (Kate French) inherits the red house from her biological father Marcus King. She was raised by foster parents. She takes along with her four friends to check out the house also located in primo pot growing country. They attempted to create clever characters with dialogue that was hit and miss. Lindsey (Cristen Coppen) becomes my smart mouth favorite while Chelsea (Kat Sheridan) exposes her breasts. There is a sheriff that comes by, a local whose mother died at child birth. The house has no electricity, but does have running water and lights in the shed. Okay, a few plot issues, but nothing we haven't seen before. Guess what? They have no cell phone reception. Then we get that slasher thing happen (see DVD cover). Not much to figure out. F-bomb. Nudity (Kat Sheridan)